Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
