he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
