I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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