there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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