I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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