So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
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officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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