Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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