new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
