Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize