My liver just broke up with me...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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