I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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