i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
