I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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