You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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