im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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