can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
