You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
