we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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