woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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