i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
