he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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