Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
