you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ttyl tear gas
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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