Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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