Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
