I seem to have left my pride at pride
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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