What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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