So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
