she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
