i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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