Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize