My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
