I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
