apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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