I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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