Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
