wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
