Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
