Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
