I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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