thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
