I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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