i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
