nutella sex= disaster
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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