remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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