Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
