Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
