U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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