He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
