dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
