i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
