Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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