I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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