I think my vagina is haunted
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
