It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
