You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
