can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
