i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
