Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't put those talents on a resume
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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