Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
