thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
