I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
