dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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