I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
