I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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