Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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