She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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