wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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