everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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